In the beginning...

When I first started on anime, I thought it was just for fun... All the gateway anime's, Akira, Ninja Scroll, Vampire Hunter D, you know, harmless stuff. Sit down for two hours and then you are back. The characters intrigued me. These three anime are basically the beginning of and in many way the archetypes for all other anime. The anime gods have basically decided there are 10 major character types and beyond that you just kinda add on a different costume and hope for the best.

1) The Pure Hero - This is the easy one, Jubei Ninpucho, D, Kakashi sensei (from Naruto), you name it they are always there. These characters are often at the center of the stories but you only ever see a glimps of an emotional response from them. Maybe in some distant past where they screwed up once and after that all hint of emotion was wiped away or maybe it is that characteristic confrontation with their nemesis that brings it out but basically, they are a stoic sort unbeatable type.

2) The Nemesis - These guys are just complete dark. You don't know why but they are just jerks in every way. Rapists, killers, insatiable greed, a thirst for destruction you name it. Usually the pure hero's other brother, old friend, teacher, etc

3) The Gay Assassin - I have seen this for both sexes but generally it is a slightly effeminate to outright queeny guy who uses sharp small things and ends up being a masochist

4) The dumb bruiser - This character is generally a good guy but bears the brunt of getting his ass whooped. Very rarely he will also be a brainiac (i.e. cowboy bebop) He always is found in an apron cooking something throughout the series and plays a momentary role if not a significant one in nearly every episode (think Full Metal Alchemist and the big muscular dude who is always ripping off his shirt)

5) The Snake/Bitch - There is always some underhanded woman with absolutely no redeeming characteristics exempt a common pentient for nymphomania and black widow tendencies of killing her lovers. This one is easy to spot because she will always have those impossible lines (40- 10 -40). The snake is often seen for the first time in the movie in a sex scene or some similar attempt to seduce the hero.

6) The helpless woman - Has just enough power or some special significance that always gets her in trouble and thus in need ot saving. Is usually similar shape to the Bitch and has an opposing hair color.

7) The Woman Warrior - Loveless, untouchable, kinda tough but never as tough as the dude hero.

8) The tortured boy hero - we know this one.

9) The na - hero - This is one of the few flexible characters that does something worthwhile in anime genres. This guy and sometimes gal is a real fuckoff kinda bastard but he ends up doing OK things. Or things that aren't totally awful bur are somewhat interesting. That is what I liked about Shigurui, it was dark awful and everyone was a na-hero. Everyone had dark twisted fates.

10) Side kicks - there are always a bunch of these on either side. They are basically some kids doodlings of "what if you had the super power to..." and it isn't cool enough to be a main character but it will fit in as a side kick.

And you know what is s bad. After that first taste, I started watching more and more. I never saw anything new. I never experienced an epiphany from seeing these things. The characters kept repeating, the stories shifted a little, but only a little and literally thousands of hours of my life were spent vegging out in front of this crap. Ah.....